It was my senior year at Virginia Tech, and I was sitting in an auditorium, waiting for my child development class to begin. I had heard that the professor who taught the class was exceptional, and by the looks of the crowd, I was not the only one who had gotten that memo. Suddenly, the lights dimmed and Bette Midler’s song, The Rose, began to play. The idle chit-chat immediately stopped and nothing could be heard, but the song. It was a dramatic way to begin the class, and this poetic stanza still resonates with me today.
It’s the heart, afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance.
It’s the dream, afraid of waking
That never takes a chance.
It’s the one who won’t be taken
Who cannot seem to give.
And the soul, afraid of dying
That never learns to live.
Fear
It is hard to let life in when we are imprisoned by our own fears. When we are fear based we are not mindful of the here and now. We are either being triggered from the past, or we are worrying about our future. By doing this, we miss the moment. Fear can be paralyzing. Overcoming it may be difficult, but very possible. It is a process, not an event.
The following strategies may be helpful in overcoming fear.
- Awareness: Acknowledging your fears to yourself.
- Challenging your beliefs: What are your beliefs that accompany your fears? Are they facts, predictions, or assumptions?
- Questioning: Ask yourself, “What are the consequences of my avoidance?”
- Connecting with something larger than yourself: Fight fear with faith.
- Examine the root: Knowing where your fear originated may help you to better examine the here and now.
- Opposite to Emotion Action: Doing the very thing that you really do not want to do.
- Baby Steps: Start slow- very slow! Take one baby step at a time. Remember that you did not learn to walk in one day. It was a process.
- Repetition: Do it over and over again.
- Seek support: Sometimes it helps to have someone join you on your journey.
If we are creatures of connection, and one of our most basic human needs is love, why then, do so many people sabotage healthy relationships and cling to dysfunction? Stay tuned. My next post will discuss the fear of intimacy; what it looks like, where it originated, and what you can do about it.
Related articles
- Fear and Panic (paulocoelhoblog.com)
- Let’s Talk About Fear and Caution (stevenaitchison.co.uk)
- Day #12: Fear (caitlambert.wordpress.com)
- Fear = Advice (amywitkop.com)
- Shear Fear (thecoachingsource.com)
- Be Not Afraid (patheos.com)
- Fear driving out fear (eardstapa.wordpress.com)
- Fear is a direct enemy of Faith (transientreflections.com)
- Fear Is Not Something To Be Afraid Of (dannybrown.me)
- Bring Love to Fear (yogacarechallenge.wordpress.com)
- FEAR (and how to conquer it) (featherpenstartandreams.wordpress.com)
- 20 Practical Ways to Kick Fear in the Butt (stevenaitchison.co.uk)
- From Fearless to Frightened (psychologytoday.com)
Your posts are always an inspiration, Kristin.
Anneli, I am glad. Thank you.
This is a great post…I would add one thing – it’s ok to honor fear. Sometimes it can mitigate some of its intensity just to be able to say “I’m afraid”..the conversation to follow within one’s self can be both cathartic and soothing…hope that makes sense..:-)
Mimi,
I totally agree with you. Thanks
Excellent post Kristin, baby steps are great for many challenges.
Tina,
I agree. Baby steps are great for many challenges. Thank you for your comments.
This is a good post. Thank you.
You are welcome. Thank you for reading.
‘We are either being triggered from the past, or we are worrying about our future. By doing this, we miss the moment.’
So very true. Thanks for this post…looking forward to the next one!
Thanks, Brian.
Thanks for mentioning my post.
Much appreciated.
You are welcome.
What a beautiful way to introduce your subject Kristin. Very well thought and introduced to us. I am looking forward to read more in the not too distant future. Keep up with the good work and God Bless.
Thank you, Michael. Have a great weekend.
I wished you could talk to on of my girlfriend. She has lived her life in fear and under a chronic depression.
See if you can connect her with a good cognitive behavioral therapist. Cognitive behavioral therapy has been very effective in treating depression and anxiety disorders. At this time, I don’t do online therapy, but that could eventually change. I will continue to write blog posts that will hopefully be helpful.
Thank Kristin, I care that my friend gets a good help, we were kds together.
Thank you for putting this on your blog, Todd.