Category Archives: Forgiveness

How to Let Go of Resentment

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How to Let Go of Resentment

Is resentment holding you back from living a more peaceful, joyful, and confident life? Do you feel like you have been wronged, judged, or mistreated in some way? Do you ruminate about it and play it over and over in your head? Do you feel your anger increasing the more this internal tape is played?

The purpose of this post is to

  1. Tell you that you are not alone!
  2. Help you let go of resentment.

First of all, you are not alone! People filled with resentment fill the waiting room of the psychotherapy practice where I work everyday. Millions of others are drowning in resentment and get no help at all. We all feel resentment from time to time. We have all been hurt, judged, and rejected at some point in our lives. Unfortunately, this is part of being human. We are going to experience joy and pain as life ebbs and flows.

You may be thinking, “Yes, we all experience pain, but you have no idea what I have been through!” 

You’re right. I don’t. I can’t even imagine! If you told me your situation, I could try to imagine and I could empathize, but I have not experienced the exact same thing as you. Even when two people share a similar experience such as a history of abuse, divorce, infidelity, or the loss of a loved one, their situations differ and they experience the crisis differently.

Although we each experience our pain, anger, and frustration in our own way, and some of us have experienced more trauma and pain than others, we have all been hurt and there are things that we can do to help release the resentment that takes up residence in our hearts and in our minds.

Release the resentment that resides within. The only thing worse than someone else hurting you in the past, is for you to continue to hurt yourself for the rest of your life. Your resentment poisons YOU, not the one who harmed you.

If you are tired of being angry and resentful, here is what you can do. Continue reading

Letting Go Of The Chains That Bind

 

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Are you full of resentment because of a past hurt? Don’t let another person live rent free in your heart and in your head.

You cannot alter the past, but you can build on today. Let go of those thoughts of retaliation and use that energy to move forward in a new direction. It is important that you realize that you are no longer a victim, but a strong, resilient human being, capable of amazing things.

Letting go is refusing to allow the harmful act of another to occupy a permanent place in your mind. Letting go is ridding yourself of any venomous negativity that may be traveling through your bloodstream, seeping from your pores, and occupying space where happiness could dwell. It is removing the chains that bind you. Letting go is a precious gift to yourself.

image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

People Filled with Self-Contempt

calmPeople filled with self-contempt project their feelings onto others and then become angry with the person holding their projection. In other words, they assume others judge them as harshly as they judge themselves and this makes them furious. They do not realize that the judgments that anger them are coming from within. They may retaliate and act out in aggressive ways, never knowing that they are reacting to their own version of reality.

If you suffer from chronic anger, look within. Letting go of bitterness, resentment, and harsh self-judgments will improve all of your relationships. It may just save your life.

Comeback Power

LouisIt was Cheryl’s thirty-ninth birthday, and Steven was working late again. She had accepted the good, the bad, and the ugly of being married to an emergency room physician a long time ago. Tonight she had fixed a nice dinner for herself and her five-year old twin boys and had especially enjoyed looking at the birthday pictures the kids had colored for her earlier that morning. Shortly after getting the kids into bed, there was a knock at the door. Little did Cheryl know that her entire life was about to change.

Cheryl answered the door, and there stood a man about her age with an angry scowl on his face. The man was very direct and got straight to the point, “Tell your husband to stay away from my wife!” It was then that Cheryl learned about the affair. Continue reading

Accept the Things I Cannot Change

And Change the Things That I Can

Serenity Prayer

Serenity Prayer (Photo credit: Violette79)

It had been a little over three years since David’s wife had left him.  After seventeen years of marriage, he was shocked when she had asked for the divorce.  Yes, he had known that the marriage was not perfect, but then again, who had a perfect marriage? Certainly not his friends.  They were often complaining about their wives, yet they were still together.

Although they continued to co-parent and get along for the sake of the children, David knew that Tanya had moved on.  His sons kept him informed of who their mother was dating.  Over the past year, he knew that she had dated several different men, but nothing serious until recently.

David had spent much of the past three years depressed and ruminating about the relationship between Tanya and himself.  Continue reading