People often don’t realize that the cause of many physical, social, and emotional problems is the lack of self-acceptance. When people don’t accept themselves, they’re more likely to be anxious, become depressed, and compare themselves to others. They are more likely to be defensive, angry, jealous, and envious. People who are not happy with who they are either have a difficult time admitting mistakes because their flaws make them feel worthless or they go around blaming themselves for the mistakes of others. Continue reading
We did it! In a little over two months, we have taken huge steps toward letting go of harsh self-judgments and self-criticism and creating an attitude of self-love and self-compassion.
- Step 1: Acknowledging that we want to change.
- Step 2: Becoming deeply aware of our tendency to put ourselves down.
- Step 3: Catching ourselves in the act and telling ourselves to stop.
- Step 4: Becoming our own self-parent with gentle reminders to be kind to ourselves.
- Step 5: Learning where self-critical messages came from in the first place so that we can begin to challenging the validity of negative thoughts.
- Step 6: Viewing ourselves as child in need of love and compassion.
- Step 7: Replacing our negative judgments with loving thoughts.
So what could possibly come after trading those negative judgments for loving thoughts? Isn’t that the goal? Aren’t we done?
Not quite. Becoming and remaining a self-compassionate person is a constant process. Which brings us to the eighth and final step:
Commit to steps one through seven every day. Remember that you are reprogramming your brain to think differently about you. This means that you must practice regularly. As long as you continue to put down your worth, you have not practiced enough. These things take time and hard work, but let me tell you: You are so worth it!
To review Steps 1-7, see below:
Everybody starts somewhere. Start where you are.
“I can’t always control my body the way I want to, and I can’t control when I feel good or when I don’t. I can control how clear my mind is. And I can control how willing I am to step up if somebody needs me.”- Michael J. Fox
We talk at length about emotional self-acceptance around here, but today I would like to focus on an area of self-compassion that many of us struggle with: our bodies.
Insecurities about our physical selves start early. According to nationaleatingdisorders.org: “By age six, girls begin to express concerns about their own weight or shape. 40-60% of elementary school girls (ages 6-12) are concerned about becoming too fat.” Body image insecurities tend to persist throughout adulthood and can lead to self-destructive behaviors and eating disorders. And this self-image problem is certainly not relegated to girls and women. Boys and men also feel shame and are self-critical about their bodies. Oftentimes hate for one’s body is actually a product of deeper emotional hurt.
How can we develop a healthy body image at any age? Continue reading
No one wants to hear criticism on the job. As humans, we want people to like us and like our work. Of course, we will make mistakes, but it is never easy to have someone point them out.
Alexander Kjerulf explains his “7 Steps to Handle Criticism at Work Well” on his blog, positivesharing.com. I’ve listed his steps below and provided my own brief explanations. Kjerulf also covers the topics, Never Put Up With Attacks in the Workplace and Feedback is a Gift , in his blog post. If you’d like to read Kjerulf’s full article, click the links above.