Removing the Shame Associated With Childhood Abuse: Julia walked into my office and sat down on the couch without saying a word. She did not need to say anything for me to know that she was in pain. Her eyes radiated pain. [Read more...]
A Happiness Tip
Do you want to be happier? You may need to smile. Yes, research shows that smiling can improve your mood. Most of us think that the good mood comes first. You are in a good mood which causes you to smile. Have you ever considered that sometimes it is actually the other way around?
Studies show that the more you smile the happier you feel. This does not mean that you forbid yourself to grieve and walk around with a fake smile every minute of everyday. No, that’s not it at all. But it does mean that if you smile at each person that you meet and smile when you pass a stranger on the street, your mood will improve.
It is also helpful to be aware of the good things in life. If you spend your day taking inventory of the good rather than the bad that surrounds you, you will smile more. Instead of focusing on the traffic that is holding you up, accept that the traffic is beyond your control, and remind yourself of the blessings in your life. Instead of focusing on the people who annoy you, think about the ones who love you.
When you are feeling a lot of stress, you may also want to ask yourself, “Will this really matter one year from now, one month from now, or even one week from now?” Many times just knowing that our distress is temporary can bring a smile to our face. The important thing is to always look at the bigger picture rather than getting sucked up in needless minutiae.
Since we know that smiling improves our mood, you may want to opt for the comedy every now and then. Dramas are great and often have a way of sparking our emotion. But so do comedies. They make us laugh, they make us smile. If you are a drama lover, you might want to try a comedy for a change. It may improve your mood, your happiness, and your health. It will hopefully make you smile.
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What your child needs most from you is for you to not need your child.
I first heard this from my friend and colleague, Dr. Paul VanValin, a clinical psychologist.
“What?” you may ask. As I originally did.
“Of course I need my child. I love my child!”- you may say.
Our children need us to be there for them- physically, mentally, and emotionally. Not the other way around. They need us- they don’t want us to need them. If we need them they live a life so consumed with our needs, that they forget that they have any of their own. And this has potential life-long consequences. [Read more...]
For all of you parents out there, you may want to check out a new parenting website. It is called Parents-Space. I was recently asked to be one of their contributing authors and am very excited about this opportunity.
This site covers parenting young children, parenting teens, single parenting, bullying, internet safety and so much more. Just this morning I read a great article about the dangers of instagram. It includes tips to help keep your children safe if they are using this app. I hope that you will check it out.
“Being assertive is a core communication skill. Being assertive means that you express yourself effectively and stand up for your point of view, while also respecting the rights of others.” -Mayo Clinic Staff
Aggressive people tend to put their needs before the needs of others. Passive people tend to put the needs of others above themselves. Passive-aggressive people tend to [Read more...]
When you face difficult times, break through opportunities will present themselves- if you are willing to see them. If you are willing to embrace the pain, refuse to give up, and continue to move forward- doors will open- doors to amazing possibilities.
When you are facing tremendous adversity and the obstacles seem insurmountable, when you are feeling defeated, hopeless, and just want to give up- it is then that you must remember that your situation and your intense pain are temporary.
After a death, a break up, a financial hardship- after the loss of a job, the loss of a marriage, or the loss of a dream, your life may be forever changed. But new doors will open. And if you are willing to be patient, have faith, keep going, and remain open to possibilities, you WILL find joy again.
Graphic Quote Source: http://toddlohenry.com/2013/04/09/when-you-face-difficult-times/
Do you respect yourself? Do your know your worth? How well do you treat yourself? By suggesting that you treat yourself with kindness, I am not suggesting that you become selfish. I am not telling you to put your needs in front of the needs of others. And I am certainly not advising you to act in an arrogant way, dismissing others as not as important as you. Quite the contrary.
I am suggesting that you become aware of how you treat yourself. Not only for your benefit, but for the benefit of others in your life. When you are unkind to yourself, those who love you will also suffer. [Read more...]