In that small space between the event and your response, remind yourself to “ride the wave of emotion.” When an upsetting even occurs, if we can just stop for a moment, identify the emotions that we are feeling, accept them without judging them, and remind ourselves that they will pass, we may find the courage to endure them for a little while. We can experience our feelings and make rational decisions all at the same time. We just need to make sure we are in wise mind before we respond.
“Being assertive is a core communication skill. Being assertive means that you express yourself effectively and stand up for your point of view, while also respecting the rights of others.” -Mayo Clinic Staff
Aggressive people tend to put their needs before the needs of others. Passive people tend to put the needs of others above themselves. Passive-aggressive people tend to Continue reading →
When we judge our feelings as ”bad” or we tell ourselves that we “shouldn’t” feel a certain way, we are essentially telling ourselves that something is wrong with us. This creates shame, and shame is at the root of self-sabotaging behaviors. Our harsh judgment of our emotions snowballs into something much worse. Continue reading →
“Anybody can become angry-that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way- that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.” -Aristotle
Let go of what no longer serves you. (Photo credit: SweetOnVeg)
A client came to me the other day. She is chronically anger with her mother and has been for years. The anger is poisoning her. It is tearing her apart. She describes herself as nothing but a bitter shell of who she use to be. She is so consumed by her anger that she is shutting out all of the joy in her life (and there is a lot). I shared with her my lesson. Continue reading →