In that small space between the event and your response, remind yourself to “ride the wave of emotion.” When an upsetting even occurs, if we can just stop for a moment, identify the emotions that we are feeling, accept them without judging them, and remind ourselves that they will pass, we may find the courage to endure them for a little while. We can experience our feelings and make rational decisions all at the same time. We just need to make sure we are in wise mind before we respond.
Today I fell upon a TED Talk posted by Louisa Jewell of Positive Matters that I’m excited to share with you. In it, Ron Gutman likens smiling to a superpower that studies have shown can confer a variety of health benefits, from reducing the effects of mild-to-moderate depression, to increasing life expectancy and lowering blood pressure. In fact, according to Gutman, “Smiling stimulates our brain reward mechanism in a way that even chocolate, a well regarded pleasure inducer, cannot match.”
At roughly seven minutes in length, this video is the perfect lunch break (or any break!) pick-me-up.
Here’s a link to the video as presented on TED’s website with a full transcript of Gutman’s talk.
Today, make an effort to take inventory of the good that surrounds you rather than the bad. Take a moment to reflect on what you’re thankful for. If you’re still feeling down, “fake it till you make it” by smiling anyway. You might be surprised by how your mood improves!
What your child needs most from you is for you to not need your child.
I first heard this from my friend and colleague, Dr. Paul VanValin, a clinical psychologist.
“What?” you may ask. As I originally did.
“Of course I need my child. I love my child!”- you may say.
Our children need us to be there for them- physically, mentally, and emotionally. Not the other way around. They need us- they don’t want us to need them. If we need them they live a life so consumed with our needs, that they forget that they have any of their own. And this has potential life-long consequences. Continue reading →