Do you know the difference between true intimacy and the fantasy bond? Many people confuse the fantasy bond with true intimacy. Although these two styles of relating may appear similar to outsiders looking in, they are indeed very different. [Read more...]
A Happiness Tip
Do you want to be happier? You may need to smile. Yes, research shows that smiling can improve your mood. Most of us think that the good mood comes first. You are in a good mood which causes you to smile. Have you ever considered that sometimes it is actually the other way around?
Studies show that the more you smile the happier you feel. This does not mean that you forbid yourself to grieve and walk around with a fake smile every minute of everyday. No, that’s not it at all. But it does mean that if you smile at each person that you meet and smile when you pass a stranger on the street, your mood will improve.
It is also helpful to be aware of the good things in life. If you spend your day taking inventory of the good rather than the bad that surrounds you, you will smile more. Instead of focusing on the traffic that is holding you up, accept that the traffic is beyond your control, and remind yourself of the blessings in your life. Instead of focusing on the people who annoy you, think about the ones who love you.
When you are feeling a lot of stress, you may also want to ask yourself, “Will this really matter one year from now, one month from now, or even one week from now?” Many times just knowing that our distress is temporary can bring a smile to our face. The important thing is to always look at the bigger picture rather than getting sucked up in needless minutiae.
Since we know that smiling improves our mood, you may want to opt for the comedy every now and then. Dramas are great and often have a way of sparking our emotion. But so do comedies. They make us laugh, they make us smile. If you are a drama lover, you might want to try a comedy for a change. It may improve your mood, your happiness, and your health. It will hopefully make you smile.
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“Being assertive is a core communication skill. Being assertive means that you express yourself effectively and stand up for your point of view, while also respecting the rights of others.” -Mayo Clinic Staff
Aggressive people tend to put their needs before the needs of others. Passive people tend to put the needs of others above themselves. Passive-aggressive people tend to [Read more...]
They are not threatened by their mistakes. Because they do not judge themselves harshly, they are able to admit their mistakes. Because they are able to admit their mistakes, they are able to learn from them and own them. Because they own them they are less likely to blame others for them. They are also less likely to deny or rationalize their unacceptable behaviors. [Read more...]
There’s a fine line between helping others and being a people pleaser, and mistaking one for the other can be hugely detrimental. When we put others’ needs before our own, we deplete our energy, which can lead to depression, physical illness, and overwhelm.
We can actually change our own brain. When our anger is triggered, it can turn into rage very quickly. When we feel rage, we are no longer in wise mind and all logic is gone. This is when we cause ourselves problems.
Our amygdala, the emotional part of our brain that assesses whether we are safe or in danger, responds within 50 milliseconds- that is quicker than the blink of an eye.
You are in the check out aisle at the grocery store and your little sweet pea sees a lollipop that looks like zebra. You know instantly that you are in BIG trouble. Little Sally not only loves lollipops, she is crazy about zebras.
“Zebra!” she says with bright eyes. You know that this is not going to go well. You do not want her to have the lollipop, and she has already spotted it. Gotta just love those aisles filled with candy, especially if you have a toddler.
“Yes, it is a zebra,” you say.
“I wanna have the zebra,” Sally says, just a little louder.
“No, we are not getting the zebra today,” you say.
Sally then begins to cry, “I want the zebra!”
You have been here before. Sally is getting ready to enter an emotional hurricane. In several seconds, your little sweet pea will resemble a cyclone in full force. [Read more...]
Doing what depression makes you feel like doing can have you quickly spiraling down hill in a direction that you never intended to go.
You are not depression and depression is not you. But depression can attack you. Depression is a sneaky little character that will change the way you think, feel, and behave. Depression is a parasite that attaches itself to you and attempts to suck the life out of you. [Read more...]
We often consciously or unconsciously sabotage ourselves because we do not think that we deserve to be successful in life. We may have made mistakes in the past that we have been unable or unwilling to forgive.
We may self-sabotage by habitually selling ourselves short, thinking that our goals and dreams are unreachable. We may discount our own internal resources and deny our own personal strengths. We may unconsciously sabotage situations and relationships that are really good for us.
There are many different ways in which we can self-sabotage. [Read more...]