Outbursts of Anger: How to Calm Your Brain

Brain structures involved in dealing with fear...

Brain structures involved in dealing with fear and stress. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

We can actually change our own brain. When our anger is triggered, it can turn into rage very quickly. When we feel rage, we are no longer in wise mind and all logic is gone. This is when we cause ourselves problems.

Our amygdala, the emotional part of our brain that assesses whether we are safe or in danger, responds within 50 milliseconds- that is quicker than the blink of an eye.

Our prefrontal cortex- the part of our brain that plans, reasons, and holds our attention responds about ten times slower. [Read more...]

It is All About the Pause

It is often the pause, not the event that is life changing. Between the event and your reaction lies a very small space. That space might only be a quarter of a second long. But if you practice inserting a longer pause in that space, you give yourself time to think about how you want to react.

Viktor Frankl, neurologist, psychiatrist, and Holocaust survivor put it so well, ”Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Yes, that space can be lengthened. But it takes a lot of mindful practice and focus. You can change what feels like an automatic response into an automatic pause. It really is all about the pause.

Savor the Moment

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“I wondered how it was possible to walk for an hour through the woods and see nothing of note.  I, who cannot see, find hundreds of things: the delicate symmetry of a leaf, the smooth skin of a silver birch, the rough shaggy bark of a pine.  I, who am blind, can give one hint to those who see: Use your eyes as if tomorrow you will have been stricken blind.  Hear the music of voices, the songs of birds, the mighty strains of an orchestra as if you would be stricken deaf tomorrow.  Touch each object as if tomorrow your tactile sense would fail.  Smell the perfume of flowers, taste and relish each morsel, as if tomorrow you could never taste or smell again.  Make the most of every sense.  Glory in all the facets and pleasures and beauty which the world reveals to you.” -Helen Keller

Follow Your Heart- Not so fast!

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Can your heart lead you astray when overwhelmed by intense emotion?  Perhaps.  It may not be a good idea to follow your heart if it means following it blindly while the logical part of your brain is shut down.  When you enter an emotional hurricane where intense emotions totally take over, the logical part of your brain shuts down and all reasoning, common sense, and problem solving go out the window.

[Read more...]

Emotional Regulation: Getting Your Emotions Out of the Driver’s Seat

Written by Kristin Barton Cuthriell, M.Ed., MSW, LCSW

How do you handle distress?  Do you remain in control, or do you react in destructive ways?  Your emotions are valid; but you, and only you, are responsible for your reactions.  No one made you do it. 

When you become angry, lonely, frustrated, impatient, or hurt, do you have a pattern of acting out in a way that usually results in regret? [Read more...]

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