Couples, no matter how diverse, seem to struggle with many of the same problems when it comes to communication. Their communication resembles a dance, around and around they go- nobody wins, nothing is resolved, and nobody feels good. Rather than communicating in an effective way, their communication consists of judging, assuming, attacking, interrupting, invalidating, and neglecting to communicate at all. Below I have listed 8 skills that can improve the communication in almost any relationship. Take a look. Continue reading
Here is the thing. Most of us have no idea that we are hiding behind our bad behavior because we refuse to admit to ourselves that we are doing anything wrong. If we were to acknowledge our undesirable actions, we would Continue reading
In the same way that building positive momentum in your life takes time and a series of baby steps, so does building a healthy long-term relationship. Before you jump into making any of the big decisions that come with love (moving in together, engagement, marriage, children, etc), ensure that you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to the things that matter.
In her Psych Central article, Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker specifies 14 areas that need to be honestly discussed prior to further commitment. Some of them you may not have considered! Enjoy.
Most people who come in for couples counseling want to change their partner. They usually have very little interest in self-growth. Their initial goal is to get the counselor to see their point of view and then to change their spouse or significant other. Continue reading
Letting go of harsh judgments and learning to be compassionate towards ourselves enables us to love others. Without self-compassion we go around projecting all of our own self-contempt, harsh judgments, and criticisms onto everyone else. If we love ourselves, we spread love. If we are full of self-contempt, we spread criticism, negativity, and judgments. True self-love is full of compassion and rooted in security. Narcissistic love is about the ego and is rooted in deep feelings of inadequacy. Individuals who are filled with true self-love are able to spread genuine love to others.
People who treat themselves with compassion and avoid harsh self-judgments…
- experience greater intimacy in their relationships
- are less likely to be aggressive
- admit and learn from mistakes
- are accountable for their actions
Practice true self-love to improve the quality of not only your relationship with yourself, but also the quality of your relationships with others.
Have a mindful Monday full of self-compassion!