Tag Archives: self-esteem

Letting Go of Harsh Self-Judgments: The Eight Steps to Change…Step 8!

We did it! In a little over two months, we have taken huge steps toward letting go of harsh self-judgments and self-criticism and creating an attitude of self-love and self-compassion.

  • Step 1: Acknowledging that we want to change. 
  • Step 2: Becoming deeply aware of our tendency to put ourselves down. 
  • Step 3: Catching ourselves in the act and telling ourselves to stop. 
  • Step 4: Becoming our own self-parent with gentle reminders to be kind to ourselves. 
  • Step 5: Learning where self-critical messages came from in the first place so that we can begin to challenging the validity of negative thoughts. 
  • Step 6: Viewing ourselves as child in need of love and compassion. 
  • Step 7: Replacing our negative judgments with loving thoughts. 

So what could possibly come after trading those negative judgments for loving thoughts? Isn’t that the goal? Aren’t we done?

Not quite. Becoming and remaining a self-compassionate person is a constant process. Which brings us to the eighth and final step:

self-compassion step 8

Commit to steps one through seven every day. Remember that you are reprogramming your brain to think differently about you. This means that you must practice regularly. As long as you continue to put down your worth, you have not practiced enough. These things take time and hard work, but let me tell you: You are so worth it!

To review Steps 1-7, see below:





Letting Go of Harsh Self-Judgments: The Eight Steps to Change. Step 6.

kbceightstepsstep6Remember, we usually live up to our view of ourselves. Are you uplifting or overly critical?

Over the past five weeks, we’ve made great strides in the process of releasing harsh self-judgments and adopting an attitude of self-care and self-compassion by…

  1. acknowledging that we want to change.
  2. becoming aware that we put ourselves down.
  3. catching ourselves each time we are self-critical.
  4. becoming our own nurturing self-parent.
  5. learning where the self-critical messages originated so that we can challenge them.


Today, we’ll discuss Step 6: Picturing yourself as a child. I find that this is an immensely powerful tool for invoking self-compassion. Continue reading

Sam’s Story. A Lesson in Comparisons.

Happy Monday, everyone. I hope you enjoy this repost of one of my favorite teachable moments:


“It was a picture of a tree, laden with beautiful blossoms looking as if they were about to bloom, that caught my eye. The colors were radiant making the entire drawing come to life. The artist, a young-looking twelve-year-old boy, enveloped over his work, sitting at a round table in the rear of the  room at the psychiatric hospital where I worked. Group therapy was getting ready to begin and the adolescents were all called to join the circle. Sam, who was suffering from symptoms of severe depression, slowly got up to join the group leaving his masterpiece behind. Continue reading

How to plant the seed of self-acceptance in your child

Teaching children to accept themselves

*In case you missed this: I published this post almost a year ago, but felt it was important enough to publish again.

Self-acceptance“Human beings, like plants, grow in the soil of acceptance, not in the atmosphere of rejection.” -Author John Powell

Do you want to plant the seed of self-acceptance in your child?  Do you want your child to develop a strong sense of self?  Do you want your child to have self-confidence?  Most of us do.  So what do we need to do in order to plant this seed? Continue reading