Tag Archives: Self-Help

Letting Go of Harsh Self-Judgments: The Eight Steps to Change. Step 6.

kbceightstepsstep6Remember, we usually live up to our view of ourselves. Are you uplifting or overly critical?

Over the past five weeks, we’ve made great strides in the process of releasing harsh self-judgments and adopting an attitude of self-care and self-compassion by…

  1. acknowledging that we want to change.
  2. becoming aware that we put ourselves down.
  3. catching ourselves each time we are self-critical.
  4. becoming our own nurturing self-parent.
  5. learning where the self-critical messages originated so that we can challenge them.


Today, we’ll discuss Step 6: Picturing yourself as a child. I find that this is an immensely powerful tool for invoking self-compassion. Continue reading

Hint: You AREN’T the Enemy.


Do you feel like your most sought-after personal goals are always just on the horizon, but never quite attainable? Maybe you beat yourself up each time you “fail” and say things like, ” I always do this,” or “It’s all my fault.” And even when you do get back up on the horse, you’re mentally poised to fail again…so you do.

That’s what we call a self-fulfilling prophecy. In order to break the cycle and find victory you have to recognize the true enemy– Continue reading

Letting Go of Harsh Self-Judgments: The Eight Steps to Change. Step 4.

kbceightstepsfourSo you’ve acknowledged what you want to change, become deeply aware of your self-critical habits, and started to catch yourself in the act when you beat yourself up. Now it’s time to become your own self-parent and stop yourself from making harsh self-judgments. It may sound a little odd, the idea of parenting yourself, but believe me, this is exactly the attitude you need to take! Continue reading

Plant Your Own Garden


Here is a lovely poem by Veronica A. Shoffstall that I found on Barefoot In the Burbs:

“After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security,
And you begin to understand
That kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head held high and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.
You learn to build your roads on today
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much,
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong
And you really do have worth.”

–Veronica A. Shoffstall

Source: Barefoot In the Burbs 

Image courtesy of: freedigitalphotos.net